Taylor Swift Kills Donald Trump!

He finally has something in common with Abraham Lincoln

(Palm Beach, Florida) — In a surprise move, Taylor Swift made a trip to Mar-a-Lago, Trump’s infamous resort nearby, and what started as a friendly warning quickly escalated beyond what anyone expected.

Swift was apparently concerned about a series of AI images depicting her as encouraging people to vote for the 78 year old candidate he was circulating on his Truth Social site. She had arrived instead of having her lawyers deal with the issue in an attempt to talk to him personally, not wanting to “sic her lawyers on an ailing old man clearly suffering from dementia.”

True to form, Donald was rude, greeting her with a profanity-laced string of misogynistic invectives best left to the reader’s imagination. As per his normal operating procedure, he doubled down on his antics, swearing the pictures were painted in good faith by his followers, who “honestly thought she’d support the obviously all-American candidate.”

Swift seemed unamused by the obvious feint and began explaining his vulnerability on legal grounds when he interrupted and suggested he might have his Secret Service open fire upon her if she did not depart the grounds immediately. Smirking, witnesses report, she retorted, “You are trying to ask me to leave? I’m a real billionaire…witness my wrath!” After which she let out a cry and lifted her arms, apparently mocking Kimberly Guilfoyle, intoning “The best…is yet…to cooome!” as hundreds of housecats appeared from the surrounding outdoors, and despite the best efforts of his protectors, eventually overwhelmed the entourage, finally putting an end to the Republican’s often-run, often-convicted felon.

Wiping some of the resulting blood off of her clothing, the superstar sighed. “Look what you made me do.”